one step closer

definitely angry music on the ipod night. one of my students stole my phone off my desk while i was talking to another teacher in the hall this afternoon. they didn't keep the phone, they just picked it up and went through it to get my number. i don't even know my cell phone number because i just changed it a few weeks ago for this same reason. then the kid got all upset when i took up her phone to see if it was her that started texting me during class! duh, clear your call lists all you want...your phone number doesn't disappear. so, that was a big write up. then on the way back to my room, i got a text from my mom saying to call her. that can mean anything from i need you to go pick up my medicine up to those kind of things i know i don't want to call her back and hear. so, i called...i was right, one of those things i didn't want to hear! my grandfather found out he has a aneurysm on his lung and spots that are most likely cancer. this is in addition to his blocked arteries that can't be cleared out because it would kill him. what bothers me most is that this news bothered me at all. he has not spoken to me in 11 years. his choice...not mine. he's a horrible grandfather, he is/was a horrible father and husband. he doesn't give a crap about me and i try to feel the same way, but i can't because my heart isn't a solid rock like his. my sister and i have actually talked about whether or not we would go to his funeral when he dies. right now, it would be much easier if i lived 1300 miles away, too! most of the time i don't think about him, don't wonder why he doesn't love me, none of that, but i still don't want to get phone calls like that at work.

on a completely different subject...i love fall out boy and john mayer's cover of beat it!